Title: My Motives
Author: Vesper (Regina)
Summary: Why the conversation in the woods? Scully POV.
Disclaimer: I am not staking a claim on them. They belong to Chris Carter.
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It is said that there is often an underlying and subconscious desire to discover the truth. Truth, however, is notoriously subjective. Motives are often murky and unsatisfying if explained. Therefore my explanation concerning my underlying motives at the onset of the Ad Noctum case may be somewhat stilted and confusing.
I confess, I am like any woman in that I want to be understood. My relationship with my partner Agent Mulder is one that requires few words to fathom. I am leery of looking deeper into what holds it together for fear that it would fall apart. That I am attracted to him is no mystery; that we are closer than most partners, is. At times, communication for us requires no words, and there are also times when words could do more good than none. Still, despite the lack of midnight confessions, we have forged a link that holds and solidifies with each glancing touch, each sliding look, each nod or shake, or movement of our heads.
If someone were to study our kinesics, I believe we would be mistaken for husband and wife. Outside casual observers often stumble on it by accident, seeing something that brings us closer than we actually are.
When Agents Stonecypher and Kinsley suggested we join them in what I knew Mulder would consider a huge waste of time, I knew I must accept. Our link needed reinforcement. A seminar on communication seemed ideal. However, where Mulder goes, weirdness follows, and so do I.
I believe my compulsiveness to follow to be composed equally of the man and the mystery. The cases we investigate defy explanation, but the pieces of the unsolved still fascinate and capture me. This case was no different. I assisted him because he needed me to.
One cannot force a revealing moment. I should understand and respect that by now. Wine and cheese in hand I tried to create an atmosphere fit for 'consorting' but he ran from me, and I was left with my revelation unsaid.
The hunter being hunted became a strange parallel for the chase I started. He was able to escape me once, but the hunters drove us together rather than apart.
My revelation was a simple one, 'we are all faced with the thought of mortality'. What good it did our relationship is unknown. As a woman, I tend to think any intimacy breeds intimacy, so that may have been the only advantage.
That and being able to hold my partner in my arms.
My motives may be hard to understand, however is that not what makes women so mysterious to men?
Now you know.